I don't Post journals on here anymore.

my blog can be found at: [link]

twitter updates: [link]

Parts of my life have slowed down since some change. At least now i can remember it all. I don't know if the life im living is good enough. I mean i could be happier. But i could be worse. I don't think it is a question of optimism but just natural feeling. Am I behind everyone else? Is this a race? Will i learn to be more expressive around people i dont know?

About 2 months ago i had my first anxiety attack ever. I thought to myself wow im getting old. I hadn't seen a doctor or a hospital in like 4 years.

Other than that Ive been going to school and working at the college. It doesnt pay much.

Im rooting for Obama in these upcoming elections.

I never really write. What better way than to express and maintain ideas than to jot them down on paper or text. I dont know if it helps me express my problems or concerns but at least it helps me remember. Maybe if I spot out my problems and give them names. then i can own my problems.

id feel like id have an identity crisis.

i felt like i was water..

...i became part of the universe and had an idea of every white had a black and in from of everything had a way of leveling out


people in society weren't unique but just factors of what they experience and are exposed to.

it was logic and so hard to not see. I felt like a real animal seeing no real material value in anything. however i would analyze the simple things we do as humans like i have never seen them before. i knew why we do laundry, pay taxes, buy cabinets and know that these were innovations of people before our time and i have never noticed it before .

everytime i was reborn a new person and sort of blend in with a new chapter however i never realized how similar they were.it was chaos. never again. however i feel enlightened to some life changing concepts.

I like to lay on my floor and think about where my life is going.

...

I do believe there are steps to take.

an old man comes in
not knowing how to set his alarm clock he just bought

I go...

find a plug in
notice a battery backup.
ask what time he wants to wake up every morning.
what his favorite radio station is.
set the time and region.

set the clock and ask him to go home and plug it in.

my goal in life is to do that on a wider scale?

maybe an IT job.

im in college for a Web Development degree..however a multimedia major maynot be too far away.